Monday, July 23, 2012

Who am I

Dear friends,

I often come across the same question, "Who am I".  This is an interesting question because it can have many answers simple and complex.  I often find myself having a different meaning of self each time I ask myself this question.

Could it be that I am constantly changing, or could it be that I am many things at the same time.  To keep it simple I would call myself unique, but usually I feel like another wayward soul in carnation, as all others searching for a meaning of life.  My present being is made of my past experiences relative to my current situation, therefore I must be evolving as my situation changes.  My present condition is based on my interpretation of past experiences, and how well I learned from them affecting my current situation.

According to my belief in Synchronocity I am apart of everything else and affected by everything else, therefore "I, the universe, am", and "you, the universe, are".  If this is true then we are the same in many ways, but it is our own free will that sets us apart and makes us unique.

I know this is a question that is most difficult to answer, and that is probably my reason for talking about it right now.  I would like to know what you think about this subject.


turning bending, never ending

Dear friends,
A little over a year ago I was introduced to the hoolahoop.  I had chuckled when I first heard my friend talk about the hoolahoop.  I was thinking of it as merely a toy, and not as a tool of many uses.  

When I saw my friend pick up the hoop I saw his eyes lighten as he was filling with joy, and I was then amazed by the different things he was able to do besides just twirling it around the waist.  If only there were enough words to describe the colors as they blend together in spiral motion.  He first spun it vertically on one hand then, with ease, switch hands behind his back while continuing the spiral.   He then jumped through the hoop and sent it flying straight up through the air, and caught it with his torso spinning it with his waist.  He then asked me, would you like to try it?

When I first attempted to use a hoolahoop I felt clumsy, but with a little instruction and encouragement I was able to get it spinning from one hand to the next.  I felt my hands projecting outward in ever direction as it spun around.  I was still a bit tense and did not want to seen making a fool of myself, so he told me to just relax and imagine myself as the hoop as it spins.  It took a few rotations with one hand before I was able to get a nice rhythm, and the music was also very helpful too.  I felt myself then as a circle, and relative to me I was not spinning but reality was.  I felt so relax and free, and was soon transferring the hoop behind my back.  This was also a special day because it was the beginning of festival season, and we were at a park on our way to a music festival.  My friend said to me, "its good that you got some hooping in, before this festival.  There will be a lot of spinners there!".  Was he ever right.  When the darkness of night rose above us we had a show of fire hoolahoopers, batons, bostaff, fans, canes, breathers, and more.  

I hoop very regularly as an exercise and find it not only relaxing and meditative, but a good way to enhance your dance skills and balance.

Happy Hoopla

Introduction to self

Dear friends, Thank you for visiting my blog.  

I want to share with you my life experiences and techniques I had found to overcome challenges we face.  I had recently found harmony in self expression, and it has brought out many wonderful qualities within myself. 

I will soon talk about how art and music influence my spirituality and personal growth, but I must mention a few things first.  I was not always so good at expressing myself.  Actually, I was very good at hiding my true self from others. I want to start by mentioning that I am transgendered, which simply means I am a woman who was born in a mans body.  I had always felt this way and my heart and mind is no different than any other woman.  I was not always so eager and comfortable talking about this, but I had made tremendous effort to accept and love myself as I am.  

It was 2008 when I decided to move forward in my life and be true to who I really am.  How can anyone really know who you are inside if you are not projecting yourself on the outside?   Before I came true to myself I had tried many things to act and be more masculine in attempt to hide my true self. such as going into the Marine Corps.  I was in college at Suny Canton when I decided to put everything else on hold, and focus  entirely on becoming myself.  the year 2009 was a year of shapeshifting for me, and learning a lot about who I am and my interests.  I found that once I was able to accept myself my artistic talents and musical skills had improved significantly.  Meditation also was easier because my mind was less burdened with desires of what was to come.  I finally felt free.

In life we constantly change and evolve as individuals, and certain challenges we overcome can make us stronger or weaker depending on how we handle them.  We will not always succeed at overcoming challenges, but if we at least try we can remember them as a positive experience to be learned from.  

I had in the last couple of years decided to dedicate primarily on self expression and helping others to express themselves too.  I had started a business called 'stellar creations' or 'funktional creations' where I make jewelry and other items to sell at various festivals.  Each piece that I make is dear to me, because I put a lot of love and positive energy into my work.  I charge every piece with Reiki energy, and meditate while doing my craft work.  I am also working on a musical career, and am learning and writing new songs almost every day.  I plan to eventually perform as a band, or solo, once a few preparations are made.  I consider my music like no other, but inspired by progressive world fusion style.

I have two web pages, the first is to promote my art and jewelry, and the second is an attempt to promote self expression.

Blessed Be.